Hashtag Kids Say The Darn'dest Things

Sometimes I find myself having a hard time keeping my composure around my campers. There are times when I can't help but laugh at the things they say--and not always because they're trying to be funny.

A lot of people find the stories that kids tell to be boring or insipid, and I have reason to believe kids often agree. Many a time, a camper has been telling me a story, lost their way with words, and decided to just abruptly change the subject without finishing their tale. I'm not sure if it's ADD, or if they suddenly decide that what they're saying isn't interesting enough.

I would rather hear the conclusions to their stories, though. They get me hooked, and now I'm stuck with a whole closet full of clothes hangers. Wait. I mean cliff hangers. Yeah. Those.

Another thing kids do that I think is hilarious is repeat what they hear. Naturally as a camp counselor I have to be very aware of this, and regulate what I say accordingly. Sometimes I like to have fun with it, though.

For example: today one of my campers had Nilla Wafers. I love Nilla Wafers. So naturally I said, "Yo, Nilla Wafers are biscuits from the gods." And what does he do? Immediately runs over to the other campers and says "Hey, who wants some biscuits from the gods?" Love it. I am infecting them all with my quirkiness. Hashtag quirky.

I think my favorite story to tell, though, is when I kept up a ruse for about half of the camp day that my name got broken and I needed to go through the proper channels to get a new one. I discussed with my fellow counselors the forms that I would have to fill out--such as the N-83, which takes approximately three hours to complete--as well as the multitudinous fees I'd have to pay if they kept using my broken first name. I told them that I'd have to use my middle name for the rest of the day, and that if they called me anything other than "Charles" I would send part of the bill to their parents.

The ruse just kept getting more and more complicated. I started talking about how I kept my middle name and last name in a safe at home, and how I accidentally ordered the N-82 instead of the N-83. It got to the point where some of the campers were trying to help me out, telling the others to stop calling me "Justin" and to say "Charles" instead, as well as offering to pay the fees with their own hard-earned allowance money. Meanwhile, the rest of them said my name repeatedly trying to get a rise out of me while I kept saying I owed larger and larger dollar amounts. After the pandemonium reached its apex I couldn't help but burst out in laughter for a solid minute or two.

I think it's funny how kids take their play so seriously. They get so worked up about these fictional constructs and even take sides on the matter. The troublemakers pile up fictional fees and points on my license, and the philanthropists offer money they don't even have to pay the fees off. In a way, you can tell the core values of a person based on the way that they play pretend. I think that's pretty cool, and I love the diversity of the characters these kids come up with.