Hashtag Perfection

We're told that there's no such thing as perfect, and yet we seek perfection in the things we do. We classify things into categories even when such a thing cannot be done. Order and chaos mesh together in this universe of ours, forming a balance that we as humans still do not fully understand, no matter how much we might try.

"Perfect" does not mean perfect the way we use it. It means "as close to perfection as physically possible." When you look for someone who is "perfect for you," you will often make a few compromises. Everyone has a pet peeve, and you can always have too much of a good thing. So what is perfect? What does it mean when someone is perfect for you?

I don't know. I do know that you should probably have some commonalities, but that differences are also important. What should be similar, though? And what should be different? That really depends on the person. And, of course, both parties have to agree. So much has to match up, it's a wonder we can ever find our soulmates at all.

And yet somehow we can find people we have enough in common with to have a close relationship with them. How do we find people that we get along with that well? Is it really fate that we meet our close friends and significant others? Or is it co-misery? Is it, perhaps, that we are drawn to the same things because of our interests, and stay there because there are others who have been through enough similar shit to understand us? Is it because being understood feels good, and so we seek people who understand us? And, of course, there's the possibility that being with people for longer periods of time helps them understand us, because they have a chance to learn patterns from us and how we act.

I know that I can get kind of cynical at times, but I don't want that to make it seem like I don't value friendship or love. I appreciate my friends, but I still don't understand what I would even want out of that special someone. Maybe I'm fooled by high expectations, and love isn't actually about finding perfection, but finding something that makes you happier than the other things in your life that make you sad. Maybe it's about finding someone who you never feel uncomfortable around, just so you can have an anchor in your life--something unchanging that will always be there, keeping you grounded. Maybe it's supposed to be a little boring. But maybe that's why you make it fun.

Maybe you should put all that effort into being romantic. And maybe you should try to keep it fresh and new. Maybe the reason so many relationships fail is because they all get comfortable and stop being exciting. But maybe comfort and excitement don't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe you can have both. And maybe you can do things on a whim with that special person, and still be able to come home to your place at the end of the day, just like always.

Maybe--just maybe--we can find perfection in imperfection. Maybe perfection isn't strictly order, but the balance of order and chaos. Maybe perfection is something the universe has already figured out, and it's waiting for us to follow suit.

So for all of you out there who don't know who that someone is, maybe what you should do instead of looking for someone who is you is look for someone who isn't. Look for someone who throws you curveballs, but still manages to make you excited and hungry for more. Look for someone who makes you want to be adventurous when you're not, or random when you're calculated. Look for someone who you can always have fun around, regardless of what you're doing, just because they try their hardest to make it fun. In other words, look for someone who will make you live.