Hashtag Machiavelli

Kids. Sometimes I just don't even know how to deal with them. I mean, they're only eight, so they aren't really that worldly yet, but some of them can be really witty and clever. A little too clever for us counselors sometimes, in fact.

I have one camper who will manipulate the system and find loopholes to get his way. It started with him asking to go to the bathroom at least ten times a day. I figured that he just wanted to get out of whatever it was that we were all doing but, of course, we had to take him whenever he asked at first, just in case it was a medical issue. After a few days, though, I called bullshit and started denying him whenever he asked--saying that he was just going to go in, walk around in a circle, and come back out--to which he retaliated by going to another counselor or the group leader. The kid was smart enough to not go to the same counselor twice in a row up to this point, mind you. It was only when we all started telling each other when we took him to the bathroom that he started having some trouble.

After about a week of denying him bathroom trips, he slowly stopped trying to go all the time. For a while, he was cooperative. But I could tell he was scheming. The next chapter started when he found out that you get free pretzels when you go to the nurse.

The first trip was legit--he had given himself "gaga knuckles" from playing gaga ball on pavement (if you don't know what gaga ball is, it's sort of like dodgeball, but you have to hit the ball with your fist and try to knock it into other players' legs to get them out). But then, the next day, we had a special guest come in to play Simon Says with all of the campers. Apparently little mister Machiavelli wasn't entertained enough, and he wanted a pretzel, so he reopened the scab from the day before so we would take him to the nurse. On the way back I asked him, "Did you just hurt yourself so you could get a pretzel?" and he laughed. He knew I was onto him. But there wasn't anything I could do, because I had to take him to the nurse if he was hurt.

He's been giving himself minor scrapes and bruises every now and again lately--whenever he gets hungry, I guess. Or if he doesn't want to play. On days when we're extra strict about participation, he's been known to fake an injury. Since we won't buy that anymore, he has to give himself a real one. Never anything major, of course. Just enough to warrant a bandage and a pretzel.

We really have no choice but to let him keep doing it. We can't stop him from hurting himself every second of the day, and if we say that the wounds aren't enough to warrant a trip to the nurse, he'll only do more damage. He's got us right where he wants us. Bravo, sir. Bravo.