Hashtag Resolution

Welp, New Years is a-comin', and we all know what that means! New Years Resolution time!

I guess I've never actually done a real one of these before, though. I mean, people always ask "Oh, what's your New Years Resolution going to be?" and I've always had to sort of fumble around for an answer that I didn't really mean--which was always an unsurprisingly short-lived sentiment when all was said and done. This year, though. This year I've decided on the resolution without even thinking of New Years at all. I created an idea of what I want to do with my life in the near future, and afterwards said to myself, "Hey, y'know what? I should make this my New Years Resolution!"

So I did. Anyway, I bet you are all just dying to know what my resolution actually is at this point, but I must urge you to please attempt to stave off your anticipation for just a few more lines. I know it's hard. I know you need to know everything about my life or you'll just die, but I'll get there soon, don't worry. Calm yourselves.

I think I want to word my resolution in the most elegantly vague way possible, so as to fit all of the things I want to do within one blanket statement. I've narrowed down a common theme, I think. And, of course, there needs to be a metaphor. We're going all out this year. Gonna do the thing--and, in this case, the thing is be absolutely goddamn poetic. Or not. Y'know, sometimes I just like to do things for shiggles. Gotta have my own flair--my own style!

Alright, that's enough nonsensical stalling. Now I'll get to the #HashtagRealtalk portion of this post.

So I've put a lot of thought into it, and I've decided that I'm going to go with the metaphor of my life being a story (preferably a cool one that gets told at parties)--or, perhaps even better, a screenplay. I'm the main protagonist because, y'know, it's my life and stuff.

Essentially what I want to do this next year is introduce a few new characters, and maybe get to know some who haven't had as much screen time as I feel they deserve (I'm the playwright as well as the main character in this scenario). I want this year to be rife with interesting sub-plots, and I want to see who the audience thinks should have a bigger role in this story than they presently do (I'm also the audience, by the way--I never said the metaphor was perfect).

Basically, I've plans to work with a team of really cool people on a project that might become something bigger than just a grade for a class if we really put our all into it, and I hope that I get to know all of my teammates better in the process (and maybe get green-lit on Steam! Wouldn't that be something?). I also want to start hanging out with people who I don't see often enough but really enjoy the company of, because who knows how long it'll be before we're all too busy to make that much time for each other? And, of course, there's that one mysterious character who has been mentioned multiple times earlier in the show, but hasn't been in the spotlight until now! Hopefully going to see a lot of them in the acts to come.

All in all, I think this year is going to be a good one. I want to make more of myself, and do some things that are good for me--though not necessarily to the detriment of anyone else. If you guys need anything, you know you can always ask! I'm good like that. Have a happy New Year, everyone! See you in 2015!

--J

Hashtag Christmas

Merry Christmas, everyone! Kind of snuck up on a lot of us this year, I know. It honestly didn't even really feel too Christmas-y for me until a day or two ago. I mean, yeah, the songs are everywhere, and people are out clogging all the highways trying to get presents, but I honestly haven't felt much in the way of Christmas spirit until a few days ago. But now the cheer is here, so here's me spreading the Christmas cheer to all three of my readers! Wow!

(Gettin' there. Reader-count's steadily climbing. It's, uh... I'll be internationally known before long, I think.)

Anyway. I think the biggest thing about Christmas is not so much the inescapable consumerism, but more the general happy-go-lucky attitude associated with the holiday. I mean, really, it's not so different from any other day, but it does (hopefully) get us into the giving mood. Take me, for example: I'm giving you all words for Christmas! Lots of them! Over the internet!

(If you don't like my present to all of you, just remember this: at least it isn't fruitcake! Don't make me buy you fruitcake. I will. I'll watch you eat it, too.)

Citron-based threats aside, though, I hope you all have a great Christmas this year! I know I won't be able to spend it with a lot of you because I have so many friends now who live in faraway lands thanks to college, but I'll be thinking of you all while I'm stuffing my face full of ginger cookies. I'll eat one for each of you. I think I probably have enough.

All jokes aside, I'm really happy to have the collection of friends that I have today. You're all so weird and interesting in your own special ways, and it sounds cliche as all hell, but I don't really care. You guys are great! Hopefully this break will be full of relaxation for all of my fellow students who've been working their asses off this semester. We'll play games and stuff together to help with that, don't worry. I've got you covered. Gonna craft the mines and kart the Marios and all that good stuff. S'what I'm good for.

Anywho, time to sleep! Santa can't deliver to the house while I'm awake, and I can't get in the way of his busy schedule, now, can I? Merry Christmas, guys! Hope the haul is good this year!

--J

Hashtag Yoshi

This'll probably be a shorter one than usual ("Oh no, Justin, please; we love when you talk a lot, please make all your posts as long as possible!" Guys, stop. I know you're just saying that to make me happy) but I'm sitting here awake and this new Yoshi amiibo I got a day or two ago is just staring at me through the darkness as I lay awake. I can see the whites of his eyes even with the lights off. And, uh... the whites of his cheeks, I guess. And his belly and shell and--there are actually a lot of parts of him that are white, now that I'm really looking at him. Huh.

Anyway, seeing my little Yoshi figurine just standing there on my desk looking all adorable (as Yoshi has been known to do) reminded me of something from forever ago. Y'see, I used to actually be very into sculpture. I guess I sort of still am when I have clay at hand. But, way back when, I used to make things out of Sculpey (that polymer clay you always see at Michael's) on a pretty regular basis. I still have a bunch of my amateur sculptures in my desk at home, I believe.

One of the things I remember making back then was, in fact, Yoshi. I think I may have even made some spotted eggs and a Shy Guy, too. I was really into playing Yoshi's Story back then--which is basically Yoshi's Island, but without that annoying, blubbering baby--so it's only natural that I would pick those characters as my reference material.

Anywho, back in the days of being like eight or whatever, I would very frequently bring things with me to restaurants. I'm not totally sure why, it was just sort of a habit that I had. Oftentimes, the things in question were those little sculptures I made--as soon as they were baked and sufficiently hardened to the point where they couldn't be squashed and deformed, that is. This time in particular, I had brought the Yoshi and a few other bits and bobs to one of our favorite pizza places which has since changed names a number of times. I remember it being one of the few times we actually sat down in the more formal area, where they gave you a menu and you actually got a server bringing you your food instead of just going up and getting the pizza yourself. When the server came by, he expressed interest in the clay Yoshi, saying that the character was his favorite one from the Mario franchise and that he thought it was so cool. He seemed so excited about it that I--being like eight or whatever--offered to make him one. It was no trouble, really. I could make another one in no time, and it would be even bigger. The offer seemed to really make his day. I even asked him what his favorite color was, if I remember correctly.

Now, being like eight or whatever, I meant what I said. I'd promised to make this random guy a Yoshi out of clay, and dammit, I was going to! And I did. And it was bigger than my first and in the color he'd specified. When I showed up with it about a week later, he was extremely surprised that I had actually gone through the trouble of making it, though I didn't really catch on to it on account of being, y'know, like eight or whatever at the time. Later, my parents told me that he probably didn't expect me to actually come back with a little statue for him, which I was really confused about. I mean, I gave him my word. Why wouldn't he believe me? Why wouldn't he think I'd be back?

That part of the whole scenario really stuck with me. Many a time after that I remember imagining the look of disappointment on his face when I didn't return with the promised artifact. I thought that I could never make someone feel like that--so hurt and forgotten. It started to make me upset that the average person would've caused that, even if--in retrospect--it was only a small thing that he would've forgotten about after a time.

Then again, I haven't forgotten even after all these years. So perhaps those small things really do matter.

Looking back, that memory might've been an even bigger influence on me than I had previously thought when I started writing this post. Even today, I hate disappointing people. I want to help people out even when it may take a little extra work on my end. So long as someone else's happiness and gratitude outweighs the trials I had to go through to make them feel that way, it's well worth it. And so, I encourage everyone reading this to go out and make their own version of a Yoshi statue for someone. Not necessarily literally, though. You know what I mean.

So, okay, maybe this was actually longer than I anticipated. You're welcome, I suppose. Let that be my gift to those of you who actually like reading my longer posts. There'll be more where these came from now that I'm on break starting in a few days. Until next time!

--J

Hashtag Perspective

It's been a while, guys. I know. "Why did you stop posting?" you all ask me. "I need something to read while on the toilet," you say. Well, your pleas have been answered--don't worry. You can all stop pestering me day-in and day-out for another post. Seriously. It's all I hear about.

I've been pretty damn busy lately. A lot of you probably already know this because--and this may come as a shock to some of you--GSAS majors actually do a substantial amount of work. At least, we do when we're taking Game Development I. I finally had some time to breathe, so I decided to go get a milkshake at 4 am with some friends. It was a damn good milkshake. Now, however, I'm not tired in the slightest, so I thought I'd share with you all of my recent musings.

It's come up quite a lot lately that "a fair number of arguments are actually not logical arguments, but rather arguments about language and definitions." The reason it comes up so often is probably because I hang out with a lot of very self-aware people. I've become quite introspective, myself, and it's led me to start thinking a lot about perspective (knew that was coming from the title, didn't you? Very astute of you. Very astute). How I view the world is (obviously) different from the way everyone else views the world. This is true for pretty much everyone. You didn't need me to tell you this.

"So everyone is different," you say, "we all already knew that." Hush. This is my blog. Stop interrupting me. How are you even doing that, anyway? Better yet, how did I know that's what you were going to say? I didn't. I'm bluffing.

I've realized lately that I'm very "in-the-middle" about a lot of things. I'm both a programmer and an artist. I'm both logical and empathetic. I like chocolate and vanilla because they're both viable flavors in their own right (I'm both being serious and joking right now)! I think it's good to be in the middle on a lot of things, because that's the way I was raised--to try to see both sides of an issue--and it's made being an observer very interesting.

Back home, I always felt like I was more logical than empathetic. I think, in the grand scheme of things, I heir on the side of logic when compared to the human race on the whole. At RPI, however, it seems as though the concentration of logical thinkers is very high, which makes me seem more empathetic when compared to the surrounding population. Because now I tend to heir on the side of empathy when it comes to debates and discussions, I've started to view a lot of topics differently. I make more concessions, now--rather than laying it on thick with the logic. I guess really I'm embracing the balance of empathy and logic that I already had, and coming to find it a very intriguing trait of humans on the whole.

Going back to perspective, though, I think it's interesting how a few of the people I talk to regularly think very differently than I do. There is someone who I've referred to as "essentially my opposite" on more than one occasion, and I find myself consistently intrigued by her differing views. There is something to be said for always getting a fresh perspective on trivial things that you may have taken for granted. Everyone's life is different, and everyone was raised in a different way.

Often times I'll argue with fellow GSAS majors what qualifies as "good design", and I've found that everyone has their own preferences ("Duh," you say. Shhh. We talked about this earlier). Some people are willing to look past their preferences, however, and design games that they, personally, might not like. These are the designers I hold in the highest regard.

Dr. Marc likes to say that "there are many aspects to a game, and a lot of things that you won't really care about, but somebody has to." I've decided that I want the mechanics of my games to feel "solid"--though if you ask me what I meant by the term "solid" I don't know that I could tell you. I've decided that "good UI" is crucial to a game, but I couldn't quantify what was "good" and what wasn't without examples. I'd like to think this is the perspective I bring to a game design team, and that everyone will at least understand why I focus on these two things first and foremost. I hope that people appreciate my insight as much as I appreciate theirs, and understand my definitions of "solid" and "good", even if they don't completely agree.

I think I've sort of made it clear already, but one of the points I wanted to get across with this post is that I may be "in-the-middle", but that doesn't mean I don't have opinions. Pretty clear I've got opinions seeing as I have a blog, in which I write about my opinions. I mean, duh. My opinions, however, are not as radical as some people might assume. One thing I've noticed about arguments is that, usually, each person picks a side. That's kind of how it goes. However, just because I've picked a side does not mean that I won't make concessions to the other side. I try to make concessions when I can, but sometimes I don't get the chance to. A lot of times I feel as though the people I'm arguing with don't think I'm being genuine when I make a concession to their side, which I always find weird, honestly. Do not enough people do this? Does it really throw people for a loop when I agree with them immediately after disagreeing with them? Does it make me fickle? Or does it just make me empathetic?

I'll admit--it's hard for me to make up my mind on a lot of issues. If I ever say anything contradictory it's probably because I believe each statement to a certain extent--not that I'm lying about my true opinions. Honestly, it's because I'm trying so hard to be transparent about what I believe that I contradict myself so much, weird as that is. I'm very prone to "paralysis by analysis". That said, I think that it's difficult to make a statement that can go either way on a topic that is currently being argued. I think that, in the scope of an argument, people take what I say as way more absolute than I mean it to be. Please don't. Really. I very rarely work in absolutes, and it's frustrating when people assume that I do.

This is running very long, so I think I'll end it here. I just want to finish by referencing The Phantom Tollbooth (which, if you haven't read, you should totally go pick it up. It's a short read, and it's incredibly clever). In the book, there's this part where Milo, the main character, meets the same man four times in a row--each time under a different title. He is "The Fat Man" to a skinny man, "The Skinny Man" to a fat man, "The Tall Man" to a short man, and "The Short Man" to a tall man. He's always the same person, though, which confuses Milo, until the man explains:

It's all about perspective.

Perspective can be shifted by upbringing, and it can also be shifted by a person's current frame of mind, but being able to flow freely through multiple perspectives is the key to being a more empathetic person, I've found. Trying to shift your own perspective when communicating with others will likely make communication easier on the whole, which will end up being better (and much less frustrating) for both parties. If you ever feel like you're attempting to talk to a wall, try it out--try to understand the perspective of the other person and maybe you'll learn something new. If it doesn't work, you might actually be talking to a wall. Probably the reason everyone's looking at you funny. Maybe you should just walk away like nothing happened. Yeah. No one saw that. You're good.

--J

Hashtag Threading The Needle

This post is probably going to be a shorter one--sorry 'bout it. I know I don't post often anymore, but I'm busier now than I was in the summer when I started this. Really, this post is almost an open letter to all of my friends and acquaintances. There's something I want to say to all of you that is hard to say to each individual in person. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing.

I like telling people how I feel about them. If you talk to me on a regular basis, I've probably told you how much I appreciate you for being in my life and being awesome for that specific reason I found you awesome that day. This is easy to do for me. I find it easy to tell someone that I appreciate them, and I still feel like I want to do it more often, but I don't want it to lose its meaning. It would be extremely ironic for the word "appreciate" to depreciate in meaning.

It's easy to tell someone that you like the relationship you have with them. It's easy to say that you like where you are and that, while you'd obviously always welcome positive change, you would be totally fine if things were like this with them forever. What's hard is telling someone that you don't like the relationship you have with them--telling them that you wish you could be more open with each other or that you talked more often--especially when circumstances don't really allow any sort of change in the direction you wish.

So here's me, saying to everyone that I have a few relationships in my life that I want to improve. Who doesn't, right? I would tell you outright if I could, and maybe I have but haven't expressed it completely. There are certainly those people I have no idea how to approach--no matter how much I want to. I'm sorry I've kept quiet to them--it's just sometimes hard for me to tell if they appreciate having me around as much as I appreciate having them in my life. I guess really what I'm asking here is for them to let me know.

I'm a social person. I enjoy making friends and learning about their lives and supporting them when and if they need it. People that I feel like I click with will always be a priority to me, so I just want you all to know that. Yes, I've got a lot on my plate. Yes, I appreciate having people to talk to regardless of this fact. Actually, I feel that I need breaks sometimes when no one is available to chat with, and that honestly sucks--especially when there are people available to talk to that I have literally no clue how to start a conversation with. So yeah. If you want me to be comfortable talking to you, show me that you're willing to help me achieve that level of comfort--otherwise I will continue to let things be left unsaid and leave you be. I'm assuming if you got this far that you actually care what I have to say, so know this: I'm willing to mend ties, but I need help threading the needle, you know? I think you get it. I'll be around if you ever want to talk.

--J

Hashtag Sensory Overload

I may be a programmer, but I still consider myself an artistic person. Everything I do, regardless of the inherent rigidity of the framework I'm confined to, I try to do as deliberately and artistically as possible. I make my code elegantly modular; I choose my words carefully and skillfully when writing; I focus on creating a multifaceted experience for my players when I'm wearing my designer's cap. It's all about deeper meaning--subtle complexities that may go unnoticed by many, but appreciated by the few who think similarly to the way I do. I appreciate the little things--every bit of polish that took just one extra moment to perfect, but yet makes all the difference.

I use this metric to separate the good games from the great games--FTL: Advanced Edition, for instance, had so many things that were done right. The developers added new systems and subsystems that further evolve gameplay, as well as made pre-existing gameplay elements even better. Allowing the player to save the crew's stations and send them back to those positions with the touch of a button was a glorious addition to the game, even though it was probably incredibly easy to implement. And making it so that players can easily tell what rooms they'll end up damaging with beam weapons by simply highlighting those rooms? Genius.

But you all already knew how much I appreciate elements of games that were well-executed--at least, I would hope that you do, seeing as that tendency is a crucial part of my game developer's lens. What I wanted to talk about aside from all of the usual "I really love [game] because [reason]" is the kind of art I appreciate--and I use the term "art" loosely here, because some of what I'm about to talk about isn't necessarily even art by the strictest definition, but I believe it can be appreciated as such.

First off, music. We all like music, though some of us have a wider variety of preferences than others. I've noticed lately that I really enjoy music that completely envelops me in sound. I like a loud bass, lots of background synth tracks that you might not even realize are there unless you're listening closely, and rich, full chords. Harmonic ostinatos are encouraged, of course, as they provide for very interesting pieces, but all that really matters to me is that there is always an instrument playing--with the exception of deliberate grand pauses right before the drop.

I've come to realize that this sensory overload would be an appreciated form of spectacle for a lot more than just music, but music is the most successful at pulling it off amongst the things I've experienced so far. The reason I like it so much is probably because it is inherently complex with the same, often-unnoticed subtleties that I appreciate in just about everything else. The result is a whole spectrum of simultaneous experience that leaves the mind reeling in wonderment and awe, seeking to branch out into all the directions that suddenly seem possible. Needless to say, this really gets my creative juices flowing.

To describe the way it feels in one word, I'd have to use the term "magical"--though it does seem a little bit cliché. But you really have to agree that music is essentially magic in how it has the ability to make us experience such a wide spectrum of emotion--even though it's essentially just well-organized noises and sounds.

But enough about music--I'd like to turn the attention of this post to the sky and the cosmos. The sheer power of the weather and the Earth itself is astounding to me, as well as the vastness of everything that lies beyond our small, blue planet. That feeling when there's thunder echoing off of the sky itself--again, being totally enveloped in sound--causes my mind to open up in a similar way to how I described earlier. I love to witness spectacles of nature, which is a trait I definitely got from my mother, who taught me to embrace every thunderstorm that passes through by watching and listening. More than anything, though, I would love to see the Aurora Borealis. I almost got the chance only days ago, but I was unable to see anything due to the geomagnetic activity level being too low for it to be entirely visible from where I am. The idea of seeing the entire sky dance with color and illuminate the landscape just seems like an utterly humbling experience, however, and I want to witness it at least once in my life. To be enveloped in sound is one thing, but for myself and everything around me to be completely enveloped in a rainbow of colors--now that is an experience that's sure to make my creative mind run wild.

Hashtag Tangential Learning

I've realized that I've been throwing around the phrase "tangential learning" a lot lately--usually when I'm talking about my campers. It really is what I strive for as a counselor--and as a game designer. If you don't know what it means, here's a little explanation (if you know what it means already, feel free to skip this next paragraph. I won't be offended. Well... I won't be too offended. I mean, I won't really know, I guess. Only you will. Only you will be able to feel guilty about skipping over a part of this thing I've taken my time to write for no one else's sake but your own. No judgement, though. Seriously):

"Tangential learning" is a phrase that refers to the knowledge you gain from something indirectly which you seek out on your own time. It could be sparked by a class, a book, a game--anything, really. Doesn't even necessarily have to be educational. In fact, sometimes it's even cooler when it's not. All "tangential learning" means is that you, as a person, have found something intriguing enough to seek out more details about it during your leisure time. If you feel this way about something, it's likely that the information learned in this manner will be more memorable, because you care more about it and are taking your own initiative. You weren't forced to memorize flash cards or do practice problems--you took the time to fulfill a curiosity. This, however, makes it relatively hard to instigate tangential learning, which kind of blows. Alright, the people who skipped this paragraph are coming back now. Thank you guys for reading--those other guys are total jerks. Don't tell them I said so, though.

Oh, hey! Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more startled by loud noises? Well, now that we've got everyone together again, let's continue. The easiest way I can think of to incite tangential learning is to offer a link to (or the name of) a resource where a viewer/reader/student can find more information about a certain topic should it be of interest to them. The only way they would feel inclined to use this extra resource, however, is if they view the topic at hand as interesting. Therefore, the best way to inspire this kind of learning is to show your audience something cool to start with, and tell them "But wait, there's more!" or "But we don't have enough time to cover all of [insert subject here]." If they enjoy the small amount of knowledge you've already given them, they'll be more likely to seek knowledge on their own--and, lucky for our generation, we have a convenient source of boundless information at our disposal.

Now that I'm back at RPI, I'm realizing that I like tangential learning so much because I'm so very susceptible to it. Last year, I would look up etymologies of words that I found interesting. This year, I find myself pulling up new tabs during Introduction to Game Design to research tangential topics that Dr. Marc brings up. I've also realized that the reason I love Dr. Marc's classes is because he does bounce all over the place--he brings up unrelated topics and ties them into what we're talking about. And... well, sometimes he doesn't tie it all together. But it's still entertaining, and still makes me want to learn more--which, to me, is what being a teacher is all about. It's not about teaching your students useless crap that they won't even remember after the test, it's about making them want to learn about even more than what you teach them. My favorite teachers in high school and college alike understood this, which, naturally, is why they're my favorite teachers. Good on you guys. Our school system needs more people like you.

Hashtag In Memoriam

Doesn't matter where I go on the internet tonight--everything is a reminder that we very recently lost one of my favorite actors of all time. It still hasn't really sunken in, to be honest. Chalk that up to denial being the first stage of grief. I just want to say a few words in his honor.

My first memory of Robin Williams is probably his role in the movie Flubber. I don't really remember the movie that well, just that it made me laugh like a lunatic back when I was only three years old. Granted, a lot of things make you laugh when you're that young, but maybe not quite so hard. I remember being obsessed with that movie for what seems like years looking back. Even got my mother to make "Flubber sherbert" on multiple occasions--her own recipe, I think.

Robin Williams has had so many roles since then that I've loved. So many times in those seventeen years that followed I laughed uncontrollably at something he said or did. I think we all feel a similar way. Laughter, to me, is very important, and Robin Williams was just one of those people who was outstanding at spreading it. And when I say "outstanding" I mean it. Not just good. Not just great. Outstanding. Sure, there were other comedians I'd seen or heard when I was younger, but his natural talent to produce comedy gold out of thin air was, in my mind, unparalleled.

"Comedy gold." I use the phrase because comedy, in my opinion, is a very valuable thing. I love to joke around, and I love to laugh. Without my sense of humor, I'd be an entirely different person--and a much more boring one, at that. It may be cliche, but it's true--I need comedy to live. I need it to de-stress. I need it to break the ice. I need it to handle awkward situations and sadness and frustration. If I couldn't let it all just slide off and make a joke about my situation, I honestly don't know what I would do.

This past year, I feel like I've lost a lot of the people in my life who helped to sculpt my sense of humor and attitude on life. Robin Williams is just the most recent comedian I've lost; before him, my grandfather and great uncle passed away, and I still miss them greatly. The two were brothers, and always made jokes. I admired my Great Uncle Theodore for his ability to crack jokes even when he himself was not happy, and I always wanted to be able to make an entire room roar with laughter the way my grandfather had. And while I may not have known Robin Williams personally, his demeanor affected me as well. I try to emulate his ability to be quick and witty--though I may not always succeed.

I'd like to thank all three of you for showing me that laughter is indeed the best medicine. I hope that wherever you are now, you're all still laughing and cracking jokes and just generally being wise guys. I promise you that I will continue to exercise my sense of humor every day, and use it to bring joy to myself and others, the same way you all did. I'll miss you.

--J

Hashtag This Is My Jam

I've been thinking a lot lately about what your taste in music says about you as a person. There must be some correlation between the two, even if it isn't concrete. Every song in your favorite playlist has a reason to be there, as well as a story about when you heard it for the first time. Perhaps an old friend introduced the band to you, or maybe you used to hear the song on the radio all the time during your commute. Whatever it is, every song you like has a backstory.

Now, when it comes to my taste in music, it's pretty hard to pin down, because I generally tend to like all sorts of stuff. I'd like to think this speaks to my attitude about life, as I consider myself a generally laid-back person without many preferences. I've collected a wide variety of songs in much the same manner that I've slowly garnered a wide variety of friends and acquaintances, as well as a stockpile of information and ideas.

A good amount of the music that I have on my computer is from games that I've played and enjoyed. Some of my songs are from artists like Sting or Seal or Dave Matthews--artists that my mother would listen to all the time when I was little, and I like Billy Joel and Elvis Costello because of my father. My taste for jazz is all thanks to my father, as well, and my uncle who would make him "Steve's Bright Jazz Jumble" CDs. All of my friends from college have introduced me to some musician or another, though my room mates have probably expanded my library the most. And, of course, if it weren't for a certain person, I wouldn't enjoy country or show tunes--and I wouldn't know about "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy", which is quite possibly the best country song ever.

Lately I've been really into remixes and mash-ups, though I'm not sure how that trend started. I've recently discovered Pogo, an artist who samples from movies and makes remixes out of those samples. Majestic Casual is also on my radar now, thanks to one of my fellow camp counselors who told me about their YouTube channel. I'm still collecting songs, and probably will be for the rest of my life.

The coolest part about all of this, however, might be that now--at this very moment--someone is reading my words and adding music to their playlist because of me. Not all of you will, obviously. But now, hopefully, I can become a part of someone else's musical history in the same way that a lot of people in my life have become a part of mine. Spread the music, guys!

--J

Hashtag Why Not Change The World?

People often ask me what I go to school for, and when I tell them "game design" I get a lot of mixed reactions. Now, I get it. Video games rot kids' minds, and all that. I can vent about all the ways that I disagree with that opinion some other time. Right now, I just want to talk about why I do what I do.

It all seems pretty simple--games are fun. I've been playing games since my parents showed me the old Intellivision machine they had down in the basement. We played Frog Bog and Burger Time, and it was a lot of fun. Then they brought out the Sega Genesis, and I learned about Sonic the Hedgehog. I played the god-awful multiplayer mode of Sonic 2 with my dad. And then I got my first Nintendo console from my cousin Rick. The N64. A hand-me-down, yes, but a glorious machine all the same. I learned about Zelda and Mario, and I was hooked.

So, naturally, when my mom told me that they offered game design classes at Hofstra on Saturdays (I'd actually already been going there for cartooning classes), I jumped right on the opportunity. Me? Making games? Sounded like a life-changing experience, and a hell of a good time. I was a natural at it, blowing through the tutorial packets and adding my own mechanics to the games. I took game design at Hofstra for a few years, and I eventually got too advanced for even the most advanced class. The teacher offered for me to be his TA at one point, even though I was probably too young to actually get paid for it. And then, just like that, they stopped offering it.

Well, I was heartbroken, but I had to continue on at home. For most of middle school, my nights consisted of what I now consider to be some pretty basic programming. They say your first dozen games are terrible. Lucky for me, I got them out of the way back then. Now I can focus on the real stuff.

I wish that I had designed more games in high school, now that I look back on it. After middle school, my game design kind of petered out, and I thought I wanted to become an engineer. Then I realized that was dumb and that I should stick to my passions. I forcibly worked my way into the GSAS (Games, Simulation Arts and Sciences) major at RPI, and now I make and play games for class. What a life.

But that's just my backstory. Those are the facts of how I got to this point. When people ask me "Why did you choose game design?" though, I have more to say. Yes, I've been doing it for a while, and yes, I think I'm pretty good at it--I'd say I have to be if my portfolio was enough to get me into the major at a prestigious school like RPI. But what's the underlying reason? Why do I love to make games--sometimes even more than I like to play them? Why did I put so much effort into working my way into the GSAS major?

It's honestly a pretty simple answer: I just like to make people happy. Through all of middle school, even when my games were terrible, my friends still had fun playing them (and breaking them). Once I got to college, I was good enough to get a decent percentage of my floor playing my game all at once--everyone trying to beat each others' high scores. It was a lot of fun, and bringing that much joy and competitive spirit to my friends felt good. So why stop there? If I got into the major, and eventually the work force, I could create fun experiences for even more people.

That's what I thought for most of my college career so far, and it still applies today; however, there's even more to my ambitions nowadays. I started watching Extra Credits on YouTube last year--maybe you've heard of them, maybe you haven't. Basically, they talk about what games are, what they were, and what they could be--definitely an interesting show for someone like me. They got me thinking that I could do more than just letting people have fun with my games, and working as a camp counselor has made me realize it even further--games are capable of teaching skills that are applicable in the real world, if used correctly.

When I play Magic with my campers, I watch their skills grow. The decisions they make change the more they learn the game, and I find that to be an amazing phenomenon. I've resolved to try and help each one of my campers better themselves in some way, and gaming seems to be a good method to do so--they don't even realize they're learning because they're having fun, which makes it ideal for the ones who are harder to motivate. I've already seen improvements in regards to strategy and critical thinking with the campers I play with--and more of them get interested in the game every day.

Unfortunately, though, the camp has a policy about playing card games during the day--a policy I was aware of before; but I thought it would be okay to play on the playground, seeing as we had no other structured activities during that period. Turns out, it isn't. That won't stop me from teaching my campers, though. I've got so many other games in my arsenal--ones that don't require any peripheral equipment. I plan to teach my campers how to do freeze improv, as well as several word games that I play occasionally at school in the dining hall.

It would obviously be ideal to use Magic: the Gathering as a tool to teach my campers strategy, but I'm still deciding whether or not I want to fight that battle, seeing as we only have two weeks left, anyway. I might get a starter deck for one of my campers who's really into the game, but I'll likely have to ask permission from his mother first. If he has cards of his own, he'll find others who play, or introduce them to the game so he has people to play against and hone his skills. He says he's considering becoming a game designer as well. Who would I be if I didn't try to nurture that dream?

Hashtag Intelligence Quotient

It's interesting how I always seem to have a few coinciding events from different pieces of my life meshing together in a way that lends itself to writing blog posts. I'm not sure if this is strictly serendipitous, or if this is my own mind subconsciously piecing it all together for me. Either way, it makes my job as a blogger so much easier.

Today, one of the campers from another group noticed that I often use more sophisticated words when talking to him in particular. I told him it was because I know that he's smart, and he asked me to guess his IQ. It was at that point when I realized that I don't actually understand the IQ scale at all. I'd never bothered to look it up. And now, lucky readers, you won't have to, either! I mean, unless you want to partake in some tangential learning. I'm always all for that.

So, before I get into the explanation of the scale, I'm going to go back to that "serendipity" thing I was talking about before (and no, I don't mean the movie with John Cusack in it). It just so happens that as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed today, someone had taken a "quick IQ test" and shared the results. "Alright, I'll bite," I thought to myself. I clicked the link and took the test for myself, netting a tidy sum of 130 points. An "exceptional" score, apparently. My, don't I feel special!

That was rhetorical. I do feel special. I uh... if you answered that out loud, I have bad news for you--you talk to computer screens. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Anyway, I looked up the IQ scale after I got my score. Apparently, this is the gist of how it works:
100 points is the median score--which means that, on a bell curve, a score of 100 is right smack in the middle, at the 50th percentile mark. Every fifteen points above or below this is another standard deviation from the center. So, by way of fancy statistical calculations, we can determine that 95% of people have a score between 70 and 130. This means I'm in the top 3% of humans, intelligence-wise. That's pretty damn nifty.

Of course, IQ tests could be total bollocks. If they are, I might be no smarter than a chimpanzee. Or a kumquat. Or even a piece of driftwood. But I'll give them at least a little bit of credibility.

To be honest, I'm a little skeptical about things like IQ. They just seem so immeasurable and/or subjective. But, I guess, if we can have a strictly mathematical grading system in our schools that directly correlates to how many questions we answered correctly, we do have some way to measure--at the very least--knowledge of a certain subject. Does this relate directly to what we've coined as "IQ"? I have no idea. There are some things about humans, however, that I doubt we will ever fully understand. In the meantime, I'm totally okay with people thinking I'm smarter than approximately 97.8% of people in the world.

EDIT: Turns out, memorizing the answers to an IQ test makes you measurably smarter--at least by the standards of said IQ test. So yeah, maybe the tests aren't perfect.

As with all scientific tests, you really need a large sample size--which, in terms of an IQ test, means a lot of questions. Unfortunately, with the nature of IQ tests being that they're timed, and with how goddamn dry and repetitive they can be (find the pattern in these shapes. Now find the pattern in these numbers. Now find the pattern... etc.), I just can't give them my full concentration. I've always been a good test-taker, but if my score depended on how quickly I finished, I'd be doomed. I bank on the fact that I have much longer than I need to finish the test.

However, with this new technology that can pause videos when you look away from the screen, and with a little bit of psychology and clever design, we might be able to make an IQ test that knows when you're paying attention to it and when you aren't. Because I don't think that ADD and a low IQ coincide. You can be brilliant and not pay full attention all the time--perhaps because your mind is a more interesting place to be than a stupid test filled with weird symbols.

It's really a double-edged sword. The longer you make the test, the more accurate it is, but the more boring it becomes. Unless you're in the mood to take an IQ test, or you really love taking them, you're not ever going to know just how smart you are. Chances are, though, if you love taking IQ tests, you're probably at least in that top 3%, and you're probably pretty good at them.

Hashtag Worldbuilding

As a designer, I appreciate the little things in games that most people don't notice. I've played an absurd amount of Wind Waker this week, and at one point I tried to decipher the Hylian characters in a few places on Dragon Roost Island. For example, on the letter that the Rito Cheiftan writes for his son, there are the Hylian characters for Komali's Japanese name, "Komori", as well as another kana, "ru", which is supposedly an out-dated term for "outcast". This gives Komali's reaction to the letter another layer of depth, and honestly makes him seem less like a brat.

At first, you think that Komali is just some stubborn kid who won't listen to his father, mostly because when the father speaks to Link, he does so in a manner that is calm and dignified--the way you'd expect a chieftain to be--while Komali acts like an immature child. But the relationship between Komali and his father is just that--a father-son relationship. As such, it's not hard to believe that they would speak less formally to one another, and that there would be more raw, personal things in the letter that Link, as an outsider, does not see directly. But by Komali's distressed reaction to the letter, we learn of the conflict from his more emotional take on the situation--whereas the chieftain's is more matter-of-fact.

Most players wouldn't pick up on such harshness from the chieftain, but it is quite possible that he, as an authority figure, is embarrassed by his (assumedly) only son's trepidation performing what is, to the Rito tribe, a rite of passage that signifies manhood. By not climbing Dragon Roost for Valoo's scale, Komali is essentially perpetuating his childhood--much to his father's chagrin. How must his people see him as a chieftain if his own flesh and feathers is too cowardly to be a man? For the chieftain, Komali's reaction is a disgrace to his entire way of life; Komali, however, is going through emotional turbulence and isn't thinking about his heritage. Granted, it's definitely a trope, but it's still an interesting minor conflict.

Something that a lot of people don't realize when they're playing adventure games like Zelda is that, in many cases (at least, in good games), the troubles of the people you assist have persisted since some time before your arrival. As such, the people in question should act in an appropriate manner. In the case of Valoo's rage, Komali is the most directly affected because he cannot climb Dragon Roost in the manner that he needs to to earn his wings. His father is deeply entrenched in the situation, as well, but in the manner that a chieftain/father would be. Everyone else is essentially a postal worker for the people of the Great Sea, and they still have jobs to do. They are no doubt troubled, as well, but they continue their work because they have to--which speaks to their tribe's mentality. The Rito are a proud race, and don't let their personal issues interfere with the duty they have to others. It is never expressly stated (as far as I know), but yet we can still make such statements about the Rito tribe. This, to me, signifies good world-building.

This kind of insight and thoroughness is what separates the great games from the not-so-great games. World-building is something that Zelda games do very well for the most part, aside from a few minor issues every now and again which I won't get into here. If you try to complete the Nintendo Gallery figurine collection in Wind Waker HD (which I actually did earlier today), you'll realize just how many characters there are that you don't even really think about.These characters help flesh out the world on the surface of the Great Sea, and while they may seem unimportant, with only a few lines of dialogue each (if any at all), without them the game would feel empty and incomplete. So for all you designers out there: spend some time making the world feel alive instead of just focusing on the protagonist and his story. I guarantee it'll make for a better finished product.

Hashtag Good Bad and Ugly

Working as a counselor is certainly an interesting experience. Every day brings some good moments, as well as some bad ones. Today was a bit of a roller coaster, so I figured I'd just write down the highlights here for you guys.

By second period at camp today, I had already lost myself to uncontrollable laughter twice. Now, as a little bit of background information, I have a camper who does not like to participate in anything. He's always whining, and I'm not entirely sure that he understands sarcasm--or humor in general, for that matter. Today, another camper of mine told him that he was going to be hung up like a pinata, and he believed it. Naturally, he started freaking out, and we had to calm him down and tell him it was a joke. This, of course, is a lot harder to do when your sides hurt from laughing hysterically. Which I was. He seriously thought we were all going to beat candy out of him. I couldn't look at him for a good five minutes and have any luck keeping a straight face.

After that, during second period, another camper of mine decided he was going to show us a "note from his mother", which, strangely, was written sloppily in orange magic marker. It read: "[Camper's name]* does it haft to go in the pool"--seems legit. We showed the note to some of the counselors from other groups, who found it incredibly amusing, as well as the director, who said it was the "best note of the summer so far." I'm inclined to agree.

*Note: If you've heard me talk about these stories in person, you may know my campers' names; however, I feel weird actually saying their names on the internet, so I'm keeping it anonymous, at least for now. I'm not sure if it matters, but better to be safe than sorry. Something something confidentiality something something.

Of course, the good times, they have to come to an end. The rest of the day consisted of the pinata-to-be whining about everything. Didn't want to participate, didn't want to listen. The soccer coach--bless him and his astounding patience--did everything he could just to get this kid to kick the ball a little. Guy seriously deserves a medal. I could never do that. Kid's impossible.

We were only able to get this camper to participate once more over the course of the entire day--he actually won a game of Nukem for his team by some miracle. But even after doing well at the game, he refused to play it any more than the once, and started to throw a tantrum. This was not his first, and certainly not his last, but the final straw today was a few periods later, when he decided to "accidentally" pour woodchips in my hair and down my shirt.

Now, I agree with my co-counselor that this isn't normally something you'd take a camper to the director's office for. But after five weeks of increasing disrespect towards camp staff, enough was enough. And here's why the "ugly" in the title of this post is warranted. It's me. I made it get ugly. Normally I'm calm, collected, and relatively jovial, but something about the proud little smirk on his face when he said "oops, it was an accident" just made something inside snap. He knew it wasn't an accident. He knew it was wrong. And he was proud of himself for doing it. That kind of attitude is not one I will ever accept from a camper, nor from my own kid should I have one some day.

I didn't yell, though. I didn't get angry in the traditional sense. I just got very stern and serious--as well as a lot less verbose than normal. I could tell it was unsettling to more than just the woodchip-bearer--the other campers who were playing Magic with me at the time of the incident instantly went silent. The kid almost threw another tantrum, but something about the sudden burst of un-moving authoritativeness in my voice kept him from being as disobedient as he had been for the rest of the day. He knew I wasn't having any more of his shit. I told my other campers that, unfortunately, due to their fellow camper, the game of Magic we were playing would have to be cut short, and promptly took him to the director's office to have a talking to.

For the rest of the day, the kid was silent. He didn't cause any more trouble, and didn't raise his voice to us again. Something about seeing the least serious counselor suddenly become the most stern person on the playground must've really struck a chord. If someone who's normally really chill becomes angry with you, you know you must've really messed up. I'd prefer not to have to do that again, but if I get pushed that far I will. Hopefully my campers now know better than to assume I don't have limits of what I'll put up with.

Hashtag Moving Forward

This might be a shorter one, but there's a few things I feel that I really need to say.

Let me start by saying this: I know what my past was like, and while I have fond memories, there are a lot of things I don't want to repeat. When we make mistakes, we learn from them--and we all make mistakes. Even I, who at one time probably thought I knew everything about the world, make mistakes. A lot of mistakes. And I'm coming to realize that I actually don't know that much at all. I've been known lately to not be one-hundred-percent definitive in my answers even if I know for a fact that something is true. And if I do say something definite, there are usually caveats or qualifications which soon follow. Kind of like what I did right there.

As a further caveat, I'd like to say this: once you have moved forward, I find it is actually very difficult to move backwards and do the same things again. It's kind of like that debate about time travel--if I could go back in time to a specific point in my timeline, and not know anything I didn't already know at the time, I would make the same decision, because nothing about the situation had changed. It's only when I go back after having learned something new that I can react differently to the same situation and make the outcome better. Of course, we can't do time travel (not backwards, at least), but when we revisit a place or a person we can have a different, improved view or reaction to it/them.

I'm going to go to a video game example because I'm a game designer and I just like doing that. As you might already know, I've been playing the remake of Wind Waker for Wii U a lot lately, and I'm really liking it. Wind Waker was my favorite Zelda, and now this revised version definitely trumps it. Even revisiting the same islands, most of which are exactly the same, I feel like I'm having more fun, mostly because of the new mechanics. The swift sail lets me get to islands quicker, which means less idle time, and the fact that the pictobox holds twelve pictures instead of three makes figurine hunting a ton of fun because I don't have to drop what I'm doing after I take just three pictures. It's the same concept, but it's being done better, which makes it worth replaying, in my opinion (honestly, though, guys... Nintendo isn't paying me to sell more copies of their game. I just really like it). When games get revamped like this, I appreciate it, because it makes me go back to the game with a better attitude. "It seems like it's been improved." Even if it's only an update, improvements make you come out of similar situations with a better attitude than you had the first time.

I'd like to think that lessons we learn from games can be applied to real life, and vice versa. I truly believe that--given you've learned from your past--there is no way to go but forward. If you are truly afraid to go backward, then you know enough to not let yourself do so. You know what got you in trouble the last time and what to do differently this time. You can decide that, if the circumstances are different--if you're different--you can make a change for the better. And I encourage you all to make that change.

It doesn't matter what the change is. Whether you've gained respect for someone or something, or you see something in a different light, respond to it. If you really love to play a certain game, don't give up on it. Learn from the mistakes you made, beat your high score over and over, and do what you love. All that matters in life is making it a good one--so go out and make your life a good one.

Hashtag Machiavelli

Kids. Sometimes I just don't even know how to deal with them. I mean, they're only eight, so they aren't really that worldly yet, but some of them can be really witty and clever. A little too clever for us counselors sometimes, in fact.

I have one camper who will manipulate the system and find loopholes to get his way. It started with him asking to go to the bathroom at least ten times a day. I figured that he just wanted to get out of whatever it was that we were all doing but, of course, we had to take him whenever he asked at first, just in case it was a medical issue. After a few days, though, I called bullshit and started denying him whenever he asked--saying that he was just going to go in, walk around in a circle, and come back out--to which he retaliated by going to another counselor or the group leader. The kid was smart enough to not go to the same counselor twice in a row up to this point, mind you. It was only when we all started telling each other when we took him to the bathroom that he started having some trouble.

After about a week of denying him bathroom trips, he slowly stopped trying to go all the time. For a while, he was cooperative. But I could tell he was scheming. The next chapter started when he found out that you get free pretzels when you go to the nurse.

The first trip was legit--he had given himself "gaga knuckles" from playing gaga ball on pavement (if you don't know what gaga ball is, it's sort of like dodgeball, but you have to hit the ball with your fist and try to knock it into other players' legs to get them out). But then, the next day, we had a special guest come in to play Simon Says with all of the campers. Apparently little mister Machiavelli wasn't entertained enough, and he wanted a pretzel, so he reopened the scab from the day before so we would take him to the nurse. On the way back I asked him, "Did you just hurt yourself so you could get a pretzel?" and he laughed. He knew I was onto him. But there wasn't anything I could do, because I had to take him to the nurse if he was hurt.

He's been giving himself minor scrapes and bruises every now and again lately--whenever he gets hungry, I guess. Or if he doesn't want to play. On days when we're extra strict about participation, he's been known to fake an injury. Since we won't buy that anymore, he has to give himself a real one. Never anything major, of course. Just enough to warrant a bandage and a pretzel.

We really have no choice but to let him keep doing it. We can't stop him from hurting himself every second of the day, and if we say that the wounds aren't enough to warrant a trip to the nurse, he'll only do more damage. He's got us right where he wants us. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

Hashtag Perfection

We're told that there's no such thing as perfect, and yet we seek perfection in the things we do. We classify things into categories even when such a thing cannot be done. Order and chaos mesh together in this universe of ours, forming a balance that we as humans still do not fully understand, no matter how much we might try.

"Perfect" does not mean perfect the way we use it. It means "as close to perfection as physically possible." When you look for someone who is "perfect for you," you will often make a few compromises. Everyone has a pet peeve, and you can always have too much of a good thing. So what is perfect? What does it mean when someone is perfect for you?

I don't know. I do know that you should probably have some commonalities, but that differences are also important. What should be similar, though? And what should be different? That really depends on the person. And, of course, both parties have to agree. So much has to match up, it's a wonder we can ever find our soulmates at all.

And yet somehow we can find people we have enough in common with to have a close relationship with them. How do we find people that we get along with that well? Is it really fate that we meet our close friends and significant others? Or is it co-misery? Is it, perhaps, that we are drawn to the same things because of our interests, and stay there because there are others who have been through enough similar shit to understand us? Is it because being understood feels good, and so we seek people who understand us? And, of course, there's the possibility that being with people for longer periods of time helps them understand us, because they have a chance to learn patterns from us and how we act.

I know that I can get kind of cynical at times, but I don't want that to make it seem like I don't value friendship or love. I appreciate my friends, but I still don't understand what I would even want out of that special someone. Maybe I'm fooled by high expectations, and love isn't actually about finding perfection, but finding something that makes you happier than the other things in your life that make you sad. Maybe it's about finding someone who you never feel uncomfortable around, just so you can have an anchor in your life--something unchanging that will always be there, keeping you grounded. Maybe it's supposed to be a little boring. But maybe that's why you make it fun.

Maybe you should put all that effort into being romantic. And maybe you should try to keep it fresh and new. Maybe the reason so many relationships fail is because they all get comfortable and stop being exciting. But maybe comfort and excitement don't have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe you can have both. And maybe you can do things on a whim with that special person, and still be able to come home to your place at the end of the day, just like always.

Maybe--just maybe--we can find perfection in imperfection. Maybe perfection isn't strictly order, but the balance of order and chaos. Maybe perfection is something the universe has already figured out, and it's waiting for us to follow suit.

So for all of you out there who don't know who that someone is, maybe what you should do instead of looking for someone who is you is look for someone who isn't. Look for someone who throws you curveballs, but still manages to make you excited and hungry for more. Look for someone who makes you want to be adventurous when you're not, or random when you're calculated. Look for someone who you can always have fun around, regardless of what you're doing, just because they try their hardest to make it fun. In other words, look for someone who will make you live.

Hashtag Card Games on Motorcycles?

I really don't like Yugioh. I remember when it first came out, back when I was a huge Pokemon fanboy, and I considered Yugioh and Digimon to be the most slanderous knock-offs in the world. I've since forgiven Digimon. Yugioh is not so lucky.

I've been getting back into the swing of playing Magic: the Gathering lately, as you all probably already know because I mention it all the gosh dang time. In any case, I can look at commons now and see potential uses for pretty much all of them--whereas I used to only see uses for cards that fit into decks I had. Now that I have a better understanding of the game, and experience against multiple play styles, my vision is unclouding and the possibilities are unfolding before me. When I look at Yugioh cards, however, this does not happen.

And I doubt it's because I don't know the game well enough. There aren't really that many complex mechanics in Yugioh that all interlock and create interesting scenarios. Instead, there are a few mechanics with many specific instances. The cards are designed in such a way that they often mention other cards, or require other cards to work to their full potential.

Now, I'm not saying that the cards in Magic: the Gathering don't play off of each other for amazing combos, because they do. What I'm saying is that--even at a draft--I've never seen two Magic: the Gathering players with the same cards on either side of the battlefield. And yet when I watch Yugioh, which I've seen much less of, I come across players who appear to have almost the same exact deck.

There are multiple reasons why this is bad design--the first being that relying on the player having certain cards to use another card they just got doesn't make their new card readily accessible, which just doesn't feel satisfying. When you get a really rare and powerful card, your first urge is to build a deck around it, which you can usually do in Magic if you have a good amount of cards. In Yugioh, however, you might not have the other cards that the new one refers to--perhaps because the types of monsters it mentions are all-new and you haven't found any yet. Now you have to go and buy more booster packs and hope that you get what you need. Granted, it's great for sales, but it just feels so scummy. At least with Magic you'll usually get crappier versions of the cards you want that cost more to cast or something. Like counter spells. So many counter spells. Counter spells for days.

The other big problem with Yugioh is that a lot of the cards just appear to be unbalanced. It seems like I've seen some that are totally useless and others that can destroy a player in one turn, regardless of how well either player has been playing beforehand. Even the strongest cards in Magic require some combo-ing into, so to Yugioh, I say: "Get your shit together and playtest more."

Hashtag Kids Playing Games

Here's a post that you all probably expected. I know I expected it--after all, I'm a game designer with the potential to intern at a company that makes kids games. It's only natural that I should learn how kids play games. And what better forum to do that at than a camp?

The first thing to note about kids is that they take their play extremely seriously--probably because it's a high percentage of what they do on a daily basis. This is something I've already mentioned in a post, but I want to expand on it a little more, and this time talk about gaming in a more traditional sense than "vidya games"--sports and card games. Naturally, these are the games I witness kids playing the most at camp, though some of my campers bring their 3DS systems with their Pokemon games to play very briefly at arrival and dismissal.

Now, during a few of my game design courses at RPI, we've touched upon the way rules are imposed and enforced within games of varying media. Video games have the benefit of written code to provide rigidity to the rules that govern gameplay, but card games, board games, and sports do not. This leaves more room for the players to cheat the system, and I think we all know some kids who like to test the limits of what they can get away with.

In my experience in particular, I've noticed a wide spectrum of rule-breaking occur. Some campers legitimately have a hard time grasping the rules--and, of course, there's always a learning curve--but others willingly break the rules and try to pass it off like they aren't doing anything that is considered illegal within the bounds of the game. They'll say "I didn't know that was a rule" or "since when?" or "I thought it was okay, so long as [insert stipulation here]." This behavior often inspires the added rule of: "If the counselor says you're out, then you're out." They try to fight this one, too, naturally. Sometimes they'll fight it verbally, other times they'll just pretend as though they can't hear you. The latter method is obviously the more frustrating of the two.

As a counselor, the best way to combat this kind of rule-breaking is to know the rules of the game inside and out. In gaga ball (if you don't know what this is, you probably haven't been to camp. Don't feel bad, I didn't know what it was until I became a counselor) if you hit the ball over the wall of the arena, you're out. As an addition to this rule, if someone catches the ball that went out of bounds before it bounces, they can choose to enter the arena, even if they had previously gotten out that game. A few of my campers will lean over the wall in an attempt to grab the ball while it's still in the ring, claiming that's grounds for re-entry, and we have to re-explain the rules every time.

Sometimes, however, you won't be so lucky as to know the rules of a game you're playing with kids. One of my campers insisted on teaching me Yugioh after I taught him how to play Magic: the Gathering. Of course, I didn't completely understand what was going on, but I had a good idea as a designer as to what seemed fair. If any of the kids played a card, I would immediately read what it said. A lot of the time the campers had no idea what their cards even did, and I ended up being the one explaining it to them based on what I already knew about the game, as well as some MTG knowledge. Sometimes it seemed like they were trying to trick me into letting all of my monsters be sent to the graveyard prematurely, but other times I could tell they truly didn't understand what the words on the cards meant.

And I guess that's really the thing with kids: they play the way they want. They have no use for energy cards in Pokemon, all they care about are the numbers next to the attacks and the HP total at the top. They judge cards entirely by power alone, and not secondary effects, which is totally okay for novice players of any game. Learning the basics first is always better than attempting to learn it all at once.

At some point, though, they have to learn the full extent of the rules to whatever game it is they're playing. And this isn't just me saying "They need to learn to play games right because I'm a game designer and I said so blah blah blah." Kids can be brutal when it comes to play. They need to let you know that you're out the second the ball touches your leg in gaga, because they know that--if they were in your shoes--they might try to cheat and say it never touched them. It's a terrible double standard, but it's the way kids play at the age I work with. Some of them get frustrated by the instantaneous chorus of "you're out"s that can be heard immediately after the ball makes contact with their body. They shout "I know, I know!" as they leave the game to stand on the sidelines and peer over the wall. The mentality seems to be "I can cheat, but don't you dare." Hopefully they'll grow out of it.

Hashtag Kids Say The Darn'dest Things

Sometimes I find myself having a hard time keeping my composure around my campers. There are times when I can't help but laugh at the things they say--and not always because they're trying to be funny.

A lot of people find the stories that kids tell to be boring or insipid, and I have reason to believe kids often agree. Many a time, a camper has been telling me a story, lost their way with words, and decided to just abruptly change the subject without finishing their tale. I'm not sure if it's ADD, or if they suddenly decide that what they're saying isn't interesting enough.

I would rather hear the conclusions to their stories, though. They get me hooked, and now I'm stuck with a whole closet full of clothes hangers. Wait. I mean cliff hangers. Yeah. Those.

Another thing kids do that I think is hilarious is repeat what they hear. Naturally as a camp counselor I have to be very aware of this, and regulate what I say accordingly. Sometimes I like to have fun with it, though.

For example: today one of my campers had Nilla Wafers. I love Nilla Wafers. So naturally I said, "Yo, Nilla Wafers are biscuits from the gods." And what does he do? Immediately runs over to the other campers and says "Hey, who wants some biscuits from the gods?" Love it. I am infecting them all with my quirkiness. Hashtag quirky.

I think my favorite story to tell, though, is when I kept up a ruse for about half of the camp day that my name got broken and I needed to go through the proper channels to get a new one. I discussed with my fellow counselors the forms that I would have to fill out--such as the N-83, which takes approximately three hours to complete--as well as the multitudinous fees I'd have to pay if they kept using my broken first name. I told them that I'd have to use my middle name for the rest of the day, and that if they called me anything other than "Charles" I would send part of the bill to their parents.

The ruse just kept getting more and more complicated. I started talking about how I kept my middle name and last name in a safe at home, and how I accidentally ordered the N-82 instead of the N-83. It got to the point where some of the campers were trying to help me out, telling the others to stop calling me "Justin" and to say "Charles" instead, as well as offering to pay the fees with their own hard-earned allowance money. Meanwhile, the rest of them said my name repeatedly trying to get a rise out of me while I kept saying I owed larger and larger dollar amounts. After the pandemonium reached its apex I couldn't help but burst out in laughter for a solid minute or two.

I think it's funny how kids take their play so seriously. They get so worked up about these fictional constructs and even take sides on the matter. The troublemakers pile up fictional fees and points on my license, and the philanthropists offer money they don't even have to pay the fees off. In a way, you can tell the core values of a person based on the way that they play pretend. I think that's pretty cool, and I love the diversity of the characters these kids come up with.

Hashtag Fashion Tips

I used to not really be into fashion. I guess I'm still not. I see it as a means to an end. But at least now I have some sort of style that doesn't consist of only stripes.

It consists of mostly plaid, instead, which is like stripes but even better.

And blue. Lots of blue. So much blue you'd mistake me for a blue... thing. Gonna be honest, didn't really have anything ready to go there. The point is I wear a lot of blue because it brings out my eyes.

My second-grade teacher used to say that a person's eyes never change. Your face may get chubby or wrinkly or what have you, but your eyes will look the same forever. So, naturally, I'd want to make them stand out, right? It just seems like common sense. That, and I know that I, personally, always notice other peoples' eyes before anything else. I mean, unless they aren't facing me. I don't have x-ray vision.

In today's society, we put so much emphasis on how we look. If you want a job, you have to dress the part during the interview. If you're performing, you have to wear concert dress. All employees have specific dress codes to abide by, and so on.

I used to think it was all about covering yourself with something, but there's more to fashion than that--though I guess a lot of things are more complicated than they seem on the surface. And I'm realizing it's not about the clothes you wear, but how and why you wear them. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wear blue to get more compliments on my eyes, but it's also to be noticed and recognized more easily by peers and potential business connections. Personality is something you need time to show others, but the way you dress is what entices them to give you that time. Once they've given you their attention, the floor is yours. Dazzle away.

Warning: Hashtag Deep

I occasionally get pretty serious. I try not to, but sometimes heavy things happen that I feel I should discuss, and something happened today at camp that made me really think.

It was during arrival time, and the campers were still showing up slowly but surely. One of the boys who had already been there for a while walked up to me and said:

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" I asked him.

"Of dying." He said.

Now, maybe it's less shocking to read, but when one of your most energetic campers says something like this out of the blue, it can be jarring. I paused briefly trying to think of how to respond to that, and eventually what came out was: "I think everyone is." Probably the most honest response I could've given. It may not be directly reassuring, but I'd like to think that a shared burden is easier to carry. Knowing you aren't the only one can be a relief.

And that was that. He clung to my arm for a few somber moments, resting his head on me. I just kind of stood there in a stupor, suddenly pondering my own mortality, wrenched out of my usual, more jovial state of mind. And then he walked away, back to his usual self, as if none of it happened. It just struck me as surreal.

I mean, I guess we never really understand mortality completely. All you know when you're that young is that the word has a striking sense of permanence, and your parents probably throw it around to teach you not to do life-endangering things. But even then, the fear of actually dying is not something you often realize until you're watching your life flash before your eyes, and you don't expect someone that young to say something like that to you.

I'm realizing more and more every day that kids are really just younger humans. It sounds obvious, but I feel like sometimes we forget that human nature still applies to them. They still have hearts and minds just like the rest of us, and they still live the human condition. They have hardships, and they find their own ways to get past them. I'd even venture so far as to say that their struggles are even harder due to lack of wisdom and experience.

Kids, despite the frequency of their crying fits, might be the strongest of us. Their resilience and willpower can be pretty inspiring when it comes down to it.

But just what IS a J-Bird?

"J-Bird" is a nickname my friend Dan gave me, actually. My real name is Justin Cirigliano. You can probably see it down there where it says "Posted by" and all that.

I figure I should probably tell a little bit about myself so that those of you who may not know me will know what to expect. There's a lot I could say here that I probably won't due to the sheer space it would all take up. Where to start, though? Let's see...

Well, for one, I'm a camp counselor this summer. You can probably already tell that if you've read the post before this one. I've been learning a lot of things from my campers--some of which I never really expected to. At least, not from 8-year-olds. It's definitely been an interesting three weeks so far, and I look forward to the rest of the summer.

As great as being a counselor is, however, my passion is game design. I started when I was in middle school, and I'm still learning more and more with each passing day--whether by playing games, talking about them, or actually getting down and dirty and programming them. Most recently my obsessions have been Wind Waker HD and Magic: The Gathering. I've been examining the differences between the old version of Wind Waker and the HD remake, all the while taking selfies of my progress through the game (probably my favorite addition to the game, if I'm being honest). And in teaching my campers how to play Magic: The Gathering, I've noticed that I'm actually thinking more critically about the game itself, both in design and execution of the concepts it presents.

So as of now, you can probably expect a lot of posts inspired by my camp job, but I might break out into game design discussions on a whim as well. And, of course, sometimes I just talk about life in general. I don't know much about psychology except for what I observe, but I do get into that sometimes, too. Really I just find things interesting and want to share. That's the only theme you're probably going to see here aside from the inherent theming of my personality and interests.

And I guess that's really it. Obviously there's more to me than just the things I listed (I like music a whole hell of a lot, too, and I sing practically non-stop), but sometimes you just gotta impose limits. You'll find out all of my opinions and similar nonsense in due time. Until then, I guess just... wait. Or scroll up if there's a new post. Y'know. Use your discretion.

The Catalyst

So I figured I'd put this here. This is the post I wrote yesterday that made me want to start this blog in the first place. I put it in italics because I like italics. And also because I don't know how to put giant quotes around it.

Today, I wore a My Little Pony shirt to camp for pajama day, as well as brought a Rainbowdash plushie, and I think the results were pretty interesting. Naturally, at first all of my campers were shocked, asking "You like My Little Pony!?" as if me wearing that shirt was some scandalous happenstance. And then, after their attempts to ridicule me (which would probably work had I an ounce of shame), two of them admitted to watching the show and liking it.

Of course, they waited until I was the only one within earshot.

I just think it's interesting how, if you show you're open to an idea, you get different reactions from people. Hopefully some of my campers will learn to be accepting so that their peers will open up to them, as well. It's certainly much nicer than being afraid to speak your mind in front of a group, and I could tell a lot of them were floored that I was bold enough to wear something they perceived as "girly". Dare to be different, I suppose.

"Pride" has become this loaded word, commonly linked to the LGBT community, but everyone can be proud of who they are--even us heterosexual folk. So go ahead. Wear that shirt that references that dorky thing that you like. And if you don't have one, buy one. Ain't no one can tell you how to dress, and they certainly can't tell you what to like.

This has been:
Hashtag Realtalk with J-Bird

So I'm doing a thing.

First Hashtag Realtalk with J-Bird:

Let's talk about how I actually have no idea how to make a blog. I'm kind of just winging it (Haha, get it? "Winging" because I'm calling myself "J-Bird"? Yeah, no. That's lame. Don't be amused by that).

So here's a post. Not sure what this will look like outside of the edit view, but whatever. Let's do this.

EDIT: Okay, so there's actually a preview button. Ha. I'm so damn talented. A natural, even.

Oy.

I guess I'll take this time to kind of explain what I'm going to do with this blog. I'm assuming it's going to be pretty much the same as the stuff I'd normally post on my wall, except with more formatting and all that fancy stuff. I'll get into a groove with it, I'm sure. Probably going to go ahead and post a copypasta of the first Hashtag Realtalk I put up on my Facebook wall yesterday so that it's here. One day maybe it'll be considered historic. Probably not. I can dream, though.

I'm predicting a mix of seriousness and snark--maybe some rants, probably a few baseless ramblings and ravings not unlike that of a madman, and perhaps a hint of self-deprivation, but all within good taste. No one wants to read about how much I hate myself, so it'll be more like "Hey, guess what I did that was stupid this time." You know. Give the people the laughs.

That's pretty much it. I guess really, I'm just going to be me. If you like me being me, then stick around. If you don't, what are you even doing here? Go home. And if you're currently in your home, go to a different website. Or don't. I really can't force you.